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March 31, 2012 — 343 words

Chapter 10p5 – Get Us

By Tim Sevenhuysen

Tic, Milly, and Overard were tied up in the hold, flanked by Liberati. Haglyn laid nearby, legs sprawled uselessly beneath her. There had been no point fighting; the Liberati were too well armed.

Pelly's side hatch whooshed open, and Lady Libden stepped into the hold. "YOU'VE LOST, BOLTER!" she crowed. "YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE INVOLVED YOURSELF IN THIS... LIBERATI: FIND MY ADAM ASTROBOT! SEARCH THE CABINS FIRST."

The Liberati hunted the cabins. "It isn't there," they said.

"BREAK HIS FINGER," said Libden.

A Liberati grabbed Tic's left index finger and wrenched it backwards. It cracked. Tic screamed.

"THE LONGER THIS TAKES, THE MORE FINGERS WE BREAK," said Libden. "CHECK THE COCKPIT NEXT."

The Liberati swarmed the cockpit and discovered the Adam Astrobot hidden behind the controls.

"YOU'RE LUCKY WE FOUND IT SO QUICKLY," said Libden. "YOUR OTHER FINGERS ARE SAFE, BOLTER. COME, MY LIBERATI." She and her minions stormed out through the hatch.

"They're letting us go?" said Overard. "Thank goodness!"

"Get us a view, Pelly," groaned Tic, holding his broken finger.

An image of Libden's ship projected onto the wall. The tractor beam had reversed and was pushing the Galactic Pelican back out into open space, while dozens of laser turrets followed their progress.

"Oh no... They're maneuvering us into safe firing distance!" said Milly.

Dr. Fester hobbled into the hold.

"Where were you?" asked Milly.

"Hid where I predicted they wouldn't look!" said Dr. Fester, winking. He bustled over to the Origami Engine and started tinkering.

The tractor beams disengaged. The laser turrets started to glow.

"Ah ha!" said Dr. Fester. "Thought so! Predicted it!"

"What!?" said Tic. "Did you fix it? Pelly, can you jump?"

"I believe so," said Pelly. "Would you like me to?"

"What do you think!?" yelled Tic.

The lasers fired.

Pelly jumped.

[poll id="52"]

Author's Note: Losing Freight will be on a break next week, as my wife is due to give birth to our first child. The story will resume on April 9. Thanks for reading and voting!

March 30, 2012 — 277 words

Chapter 10p4 – Turn Off the Video

By Tim Sevenhuysen

Milly jabbed a button to release the docking connection between Pelly and Mak Overard's ship.

"Hold on a minute!" protested Overard. He moved to stop Milly, but Tic tackled him.

Milly grabbed the box containing the Adam Astrobot. "Pelly, get us out of here!" She tore the box open and pulled out the action figure. It was about ten inches tall, sealed inside a clear plastic cube.

"What are you doing?" yelled Overard. "Thieves! Kidnappers!"

"Shut up," said Tic. "Pelly, project a viewscreen on the rear hatch." An image of Overard's ship flickered onto the flat surface. Beyond it was an enormous red-and-silver cruiser.

"Is that Libden?" said Milly.

Tic nodded. "Pelly, if she hails us, don't respond!" His PAI buzzed. As he pulled it out of his pocket, he accidentally thumbed the Answer button. Libden's face appeared on the screen.

"WHERE'S MY ADAM ASTROBOT, BOLTER!?"

"On the other ship," said Tic.

"Hang up!" hissed Milly.

"I CAN TELL YOU'RE LYING," shouted Libden. "I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES!"

"How do I turn off the video on this thing?" muttered Tic. He twisted the PAI around, looking for the right button.

"AH HA!!" crowed Libden, as the camera panned across Milly holding the action figure. A bevy of bright-coloured lasers lanced out from Libden's ship and raked across Overard's abandoned vessel. It disintegrated.

"Did she just...?!" said Overard.

"Yep," said Tic, hanging up his PAI.

"Is she going to...?"

"Probably."

"Shoot at her! Jump away!"

"Our Origami Engine is dead, and those shields are way too strong..." said Tic.

The Galactic Pelican shuddered as it was gripped by a powerful tractor beam.

[poll id="51"]

March 29, 2012 — 1,102 words

Archetypal Images

By Letitia Coyne

Ever notice that when individuals have a problem to resolve, they tend to tell the same story over and over? It might be about their health or their heartbreak, it might be about their job and career choice, or it might be about their childhood or their latest love. Whatever it is, chances are you can say the words with them after a while because if they aren’t telling you again, they are telling your friends when you sit down to a meal together.

You might even recognize yourself, here. Ever get hung up in a loop, going over the same thing endlessly? One of the reasons, a primary reason, I believe, that we go through this rehashing, is in an attempt to make sense of things that we cannot get our head around. Mentally, we retrace our steps again and again, searching for the divine light or a universal insight: a reason for what has happened in our lives. We like to feel we have some control, and we will look for parallels in the experiences of friends, and ask for advice even if we intend to ignore it.

And this process of rehashing is by no means new.

This desire to keep studying cause and effect in the world around us powers the driving need we feel to share stories and the experiences of others. Of course, our personal dramas are a great deal more consuming than fiction, after all, we need to fine tune our standing within relationships, groups, companies, cities, societies etc. We need to make decisions and take actions. But a substantial source of understanding of these groups and societies is found in fiction.

Individuals have dealt with the same issues, in this same way, in every culture since we first built a fire to sit around at night. And every society, no matter the separation of time or distance, peopled their stories with the same characters. When he developed his theory of collective consciousness, KG Jung decided there were shared concepts, archetypes, from which archetypal figures were drawn to represent humanity in every situation. Archetypes themselves are not characters. They are elementals, parts of the personality which are universal.

Very briefly they are:

The self -- that is, the identity itself, you as you really are.
The shadow – your deeper side, the parts of your mind which you do not always recognize, but which affect and direct thought and action.
The persona – the mask we wear – the face we put forward as acceptable in public.
The anima – femininity including female in the male personality.
The animus – masculinity including male in the female personality.

These universal concepts are illustrated by groups of archetypal figures, again theoretically recognizable to all societies. They number into their thousands as they appear in response to problems or events, but again, there are some basics:

The father: Authority figure, stern, powerful, the king.
The hero: Champion, defender, rescuer.
The youth: The arrogant, the beautiful, the angsty and overconfident.
The child: Longing for innocence, rebirth, salvation.
The mother: Nurturing, comforting, queen.
The maiden: Innocence, desire, purity.
The helper [sage/hag]: Guidance, knowledge, wisdom.
The whore: Manipulator of weakness in strong men.
The trickster: Deceiver, liar, trouble-maker.
The twin: Duality, the double, the paradox of good and evil in one.
The underdog: Beset by tribulations, succeeds to learn life lessons.
The poet: Artistic expression, creativity.

When these archetypal figures are placed into a story world of archetypal themes and events – birth, death, marriage, conflict, creation, destruction, separation, initiation, etc, experiences recognized by all people - their potential to express and explain the human experience becomes limitless.

Before the advent of novels, mythology and folklore were our source of entertainment and education. The ancient pantheons are excellent illustrators of the principles of universal archetypes. All over the world people told and retold stories about the exploits of their gods, each god a complex mixture of archetypal figures moving through epic adventures and magical landscapes. In very different cultures the same gods with different names were having the same adventures and learning the same lessons. When morals were introduced, stories became fables and parables to guide and correct the masses. These ‘fictions’ helped make sense of the world.

Long after their respective twilights, these old gods delivered their burden of human experience to new audiences as they were Christianized, and on into schools and universities where the classics were studied and their life lessons examined. Their tales were drawn upon and modified by Shakespeare and Chaucer and alike, their character traits and their exploits retold in play and poem, with new names and updated circumstances.

They remain popular today.

Their stories describe fundamental truths that are not eroded by time or scientific advancement. For all we have learned, deep in our hearts and minds we are not so far from the cave’s fire pit; we remember the village hearth; we still carry the mythology and superstitious awe of what lies over the horizon.

With the advent of the novel, a change did take place in the telling of stories. Those archetypal characters still moved through landscapes, but their primary function was no longer to educate. All that was necessary from a novel, right from their earliest days, was to entertain.

Heroes and villains in novels moved steadily closer to normality. Everyday people took lead roles away from gods and kings; the adventures they shared became far more mundane. Supernatural abilities became less likely to be the solution to the ills of society. They still carried those archetypal characteristics which are and were recognized universally, but they demonstrated a more natural blend of traits and their actions began to more closely resemble the everyday.

That is when, I think, stories moved from the examination of archetypes, in all their godly full expression, toward ectypes or stereotypes. Stereotypes fulfill the same role, providing instant recognition of a host of unstated characteristics, but they are toned down. They can be just as difficult to believe, but we know them, and accept them, and will often allow them to fill our pages because we are so familiar with them.

So next week, I will have a chat about stereotypes. Whenever we have a favorite genre, you can rest assured there is a set of stereotypes we enjoy following. I wonder; if they are so frowned upon in literature, why do they remain so popular?

March 29, 2012 — 284 words

Chapter 10p3 – Its Real Owner

By Tim Sevenhuysen

"I'm glad the seller was so accommodating about meeting us in orbit," said Milly.

"Maybe he's worried its real owner will show up to reclaim it," said Tic, elbow deep in the Origami Engine. "And considering who its real owner is, he should be worried."

"I'm receiving a docking request," said Pelly.

"That'll be Overard," said Milly. "Make the connection please, Pelly."

"Hold on," said Tic, as the docking tube extended from the side hatch. "Overard?"

"Yeah, Mak Overard. He's the seller."

"You're kidding..."

"What?"

"He's the guy whose cargo I dumped. He probably found the Adam Astrobot while regathering their equipment."

"Hmm," said Milly. "Well, maybe he won't recognize the ship..."

The side hatch hissed open, and Tic ducked down out of sight. Overard stepped through, carrying a box.

"The Galactic Pelican. What an interesting coincidence!" said Overard. "You must be Ms. Leon. I don't suppose Mr. Bolter is around, is he?"

"He doesn't own this ship anymore," said Milly. "I, uh, bought it from him."

"Sure you did... He owes my company 15,000 litres in equipment damage, so here's the new plan: you're going to pay for this Adam Astrobot and settle Mr. Bolter's bill. Collect it from him yourself."

"No way!" said Milly.

"Then I'll find another buyer." Overard's PAI chimed. "Speak of the devil: a certain Lady Libden also appears to be interested. I'll just send her our coordinates..."

Tic popped up. "No, don't!"

"Too late, I'm afraid," grinned Overard. "But for, say, 20,000 litres, I'll inform her the action figure's no longer available."

"That won't stop her," said Tic. "She'll gladly kill us all... We have to get out of here!"

[poll id="50"]

March 28, 2012 — 288 words

Chapter 10p2 – Don’t Bother

By Tim Sevenhuysen

Tic pried up a floor panel in the hold and stared down into the chamber where the Origami Engine sat. The brackets holding it were blackened and twisted, and a string of red lights around its perimeter was pulsing an obscure error code. Tic sighed, rolled up his shirtsleeves, and called up the manual on his PAI.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" said Milly.

"I'm smarter than you thought I was, remember?" said Tic.

"If you say so," said Milly. "I still think it would be better to head down to the surface and find a real mechanic."

"I'd give us maybe an hour down there before Lady Libden found out and sent the Liberati after us. Stupid to risk it."

"Orbit Patrol might come across us up here, too, though."

"I know. That's why I'm trying to work."

"Fine!" said Milly. "I can take a hint. I have more important things to do, anyways. Pelly said that special Adam Astrobot action figure got jettisoned into space when we were here before, right? I'm going to try to find it."

"Don't bother," said Tic. "You're looking for a needle in about ten trillion cubic kilometres' worth of haystacks."

"You're such a pessimist," said Milly, already fiddling with her PAI.

Tic rolled his eyes and scrolled through a few more screens of the Origami Engine's manual.

"Ha!" cried Milly.

"What?"

"You won't believe this." Milly held her PAI out in front of Tic's face. It showed an ad on the Crux Stuff Market website which read:

For Sale: rare Adam Astrobot action figure. Found floating derelict in orbit, just like on TV! Asking 2,000L or best offer.

Tic's jaw dropped.

[poll id="49"]

March 27, 2012 — 1,205 words

The Whites of the Eyes:
why webfiction and live events are flourishing together by doing precisely the same thing

By Guest Author

I was asked to speak last Tuesday to the Society of Young Publishers in Oxford. As an evangelical self-publisher that was irresistible to start with, but the subject was one so important I couldn’t do anything but pounce on the opportunity – how do ebooks impact on independent bookstores? It’s a microcosm of a massive topic, but one that’s rarely addressed – the way digital fiction, far from distancing us from “reality”, is bringing readers and writers in the physical world closer than ever before in a way that print was never able to do.

I know my stance is coloured by my experience, but it strikes me that maybe that experience is illustrative of something important that we are discovering through the rise of webfiction and self epublishing. Something about the relation between art and community.

OK, rewind to the start of 2009 when I did two things, having made the decision that I wrote the kind of fiction that would make it nuts for me to do anything but self-publish. First, I started a collective of writers who did the same thing, Year Zero Writers. And second, I wrote my next novel, The Man Who Painted Agnieszka’s Shoes, as an interactive serial webfiction on Facebook. What surprised me most about both was the way they became hubs for communities of like-minded writers. The Year Zero website went strong from mid 2009 to mid 2011 with its mix of original daily prose, poetry, and thought-provoking articles, attracting hundreds of active online participants to its various events and acting as the breeding grounds for discussions and relationships that have flourished and continue to produce not just great literature but great ideas and collaborations. And The Man Who Painted Agnieszka’s Shoes got noticed by mashable and various other websites and introduced me to a whole new group of people doing exciting things with digital literary fiction.

In other words, I learned that the most exciting, and valuable – and very easily possible – thing about writing online is the way communities form.

To go off at a tangent and set myself down in late 2009, I had self-published the book Songs from the Other Side of the Wall and thought I should have a launch for it. I was also spending a lot of time reading discussions about how literature wasn’t like music because authors couldn’t do gigs, and that struck me as inherently absurd, so having arranged a launch for the novel through my amazing local store, The Albion Beatnik in Oxford, I decided Year Zero should have a tour. Our first show was at the legendary music venue Rough Trade, in London’s Brick Lane. Two years later, and 18 months after I set up eight cuts gallery, the tour is still going. Our show, The New Libertines, has played to full houses in Manchester, Oxford, Birmingham, and London, and our format of 10-20 fabulous writers performing poetry, prose, and everything in between, goes down fabulously with writers and public alike. But more than that, venues love it. We get involved with local writing groups, local arts groups and projects – yes, to come back to the refrain – live performance thrives because at its heart is an ever-expanding community.

And as both communities grow, they start to intersect. I’m working with more and more people doing amazing things that I first met online – Claire Trévien and James Purcell Webster from the review site Sabotage have become invaluable parts of our performance troupe; for the event Lilith Burning I got to make art and words in Oxford with the amazing New York based writer, photographer, artists and model Katelan Foisy. And I’m sharing online the work of people I meet at gigs. Like Sian Rathore and Paul Askew. And the more I do separately with both communities, the more they both grow and merge and the creative tentacles feed each other.

All of which should be enough of an injunction to get out and *do*. But if it isn’t, here’s a brief reflection on why live performing and self-published webfiction go together so well. Both are intrinsically active. They are creative outpourings of the imaginative will. At no stage in either process do you do what you are told or have to fit a pre-ordained format. There is no house style, there are no bookshelves your product must physically fit on.

But most of all, both are fundamentally about communication. And that is the alpha and omega of what storytelling is. Print publishing has allowed that to become obscured in writers’ minds. People think they can sit in a cold attic and type into the void and that is “being a writer”. Well, being a writer it is maybe, but being a storyteller it is not. The internet and 100 people with their eyes and ears fixed on you in a room serve the single same function – they bring everything you do right back to the purest essence of what it is – communicating stories to other human beings. Taking them somewhere with you and making them want to come back and go on more journeys in your company. It’s no wonder both digital fiction and the spoken word are thriving, and it is no surprise that they are growing at the same time – however universal one seems and however local the other seems, they are doing precisely the same thing.

You can get involved with what we do either online or in person at Not the Oxford Literary Festival, and particularly with Paint Oxford With Poetry on March 30th, in which people from all over the world can send poems that will be left in Oxford’s public space overnight.

About Dan Holloway

Dan Holloway writes poetry and prose but is happiest behind a microphone, winning Literary Death Match in 2010 and the March 2012 Oxford Hammer and Tongue Poetry Slam. He runs the online and real life literary project eight cuts gallery, which stages live shows and online exhibitions as well as publishing unusual fiction. He is the author of the novels Songs from the Other Side of the Wall, The Man Who Painted Agnieszka's Shoes, and The Company of Fellows, which was voted "favourite Oxford novel" by readers at Blackwell's in 2011. This week he is hosting Not the Oxford Literary Festival.

March 27, 2012 — 294 words

Chapter 10p1 – Where Did You Send Us?

By Tim Sevenhuysen

Milly emerged from the passenger cabin and saw Tic stumping into the Galactic Pelican's hold, carrying a toolkit. "Have you figured out where we are yet?" she called after him. "All the viewscreens are dead, and Pelly isn't responding. That jump didn't go very smoothly, did it?"

Tic ignored her, approached a panel on the wall of the hold, and started sifting through his tools. He grabbed a wrench and tried it on one of the panel's screws. It didn't quite fit. He grunted his annoyance and kept searching.

"Well, it was unconventional, but at least we're all alive, right?" said Milly. "That was quick thinking back there. Using the vacuum generators like that... You're smarter than I thought you were."

Tic glared at her.

"Er, I mean that in the best way possible," said Milly.

"Hmmph," said Tic, and tried another wrench. This one worked. He got the panel open and a shower of sparks burst out. "Urgh," said Tic.

"Can you fix it?" asked Milly.

"Maybe," grunted Tic, "if you'll shut up and let me think." He flipped a switch down, disconnected some wires, yanked out a complicated fuse, and replaced it from his toolkit. He flipped the switch back up.

There was a hum and a buzz in the walls. The lights flickered. A warbling voice moaned, "Uuuuuurghh..."

"Couldn't have said it better myself," said Tic.

"Suumthuung uusn't quut ruught..." warbled Pelly. She sounded like a dying frog.

"Whoops," said Tic. He reconnected the wires.

"Ah, thank you, dear," said Pelly.

"Don't mention it. Now, where are we? Please say anywhere but Cr—"

"We're at Crux, of course!" said Pelly. "Oh, and when you have a minute, I think my Origami Engine died."

"Urgh."

[poll id="48"]

March 26, 2012 — 3,783 words

Introducing the EpiCast!

By Guest Author

by Kira Lerner

The EpiGuide community for webseries and webfiction produces the EpiCast—a monthly podcast that launched in November 2011. Hosted by Kira Lerner, the co-founder and current administrator of the EpiGuide, and Michael, who’s both a longtime community member and the author of the webserial Footprints, these EpiCasts are monthly guides to the latest in the world of original online entertainment.

When 1889 kindly asked us for a guest post about these podcasts, we decided that the best way to introduce the EpiCasts to you all was to create a mini-version of a typical episode—basically, just a conversation between two webfiction creators and community members chatting away and hopefully imparting some enjoyment and info at the same time.

Here’s a transcript of our session, which was recorded just prior to recording our most recent EpiCast episode (#005, already posted by the time this blog entry is published).

* * * * *

Kira: Hi everyone. Well, I guess we should start talking about how the EpiCasts began, and why.

Michael: Makes sense. What made you decide to produce these podcasts?

Kira: Honestly, until August 2011 I’d never have considering doing a podcast as a participant, much less creating and producing one for the EpiGuide. Which, I should say, is an online community devoted to webfiction and webserials of all sorts. Anyway, as I said, podcasting seemed anathema to me, since I'm fairly… what’s the right word? Reticent? Reluctant?

Michael: Shy, probably.

Kira: Right, okay. So yeah, I’m pretty shy, and I know people over at the Eppy may laugh because I usually seem more self-assured in my online persona, but yeah, I’m totally not that person in real life. But then the good folks at the Webfiction World podcast invited me to talk about writing marathons generally and WeSeWriMo—

Michael: By which she means Web Series Writing Month.

Kira:—Yes, thanks. See, this is why we work well together as co-hosts. We can read each other’s minds and step in when the other host (usually me) is suddenly inarticulate, helping to provide le mot juste.

Michael: Yeah, it works well even though we don’t have exactly the same style. Like I don’t think I’d’ve gone with le mot juste.

Kira: Hey don’t ask me why I can’t think of words like ‘shy’ but le mot juste pops up! Anyway, so the Webfiction World podcast—which I’m sure everyone reading this will know is now hosted by A.M. Harte and Greg X. Graves and produced by the Webcast Beacon Network—last August they invited me to talk about the WeSeWriMo project and doing the interview was surprisingly fun and engaging. At least after the first ten minutes or so, I wasn’t as nervous as I’d thought I’d be, which I guess is thanks in large part to the hosts. Couple months later I got to thinking about ideas to liven up the Eppy community and came to the idea of creating a more specific podcast, by which I mean specific to our corner of the web, which is a bit different from the Webfiction World’s focus. I guess for me, I realized that a) I didn’t hate the process, and b) I wanted to spotlight the EpiGuide as a hub, to find a way to bring us... to create something for the community to think about from month to month. And c) I wanted to talk about serials with someone interesting, which is why I thought of you, Michael.

Michael: Thank you!

Kira: Also because we’ve been around the community the longest, at least of the people who are still active. But what led you to say yes?

Michael: I think it appealed to me because it seemed like a necessary breath of fresh air for the EpiGuide. Because we’d really stopped publishing regular content, and it seemed like a very current way to produce original content that would get people talking. And on a personal level I liked the idea of being “forced” to pay attention and engaging with the entire community. ‘Cause it’s easy to work on my series (Footprints) and get feedback on that, and read the few series that I’m interested in, and that my friends produce, or whatever. So it was appealing in that it both opened up my perspective and created a new venue for stimulating discussion and making the EpiGuide more of a destination. Instead of just purely for serial promotion, which I think it’s always in danger of becoming just by the nature of what it provides.

Kira: You’re absolutely right, and I think that’s especially true for me since I haven't been actively producing my own serial (About Schuyler Falls) for the last year.

Michael: Yes you are!

Kira: Well, okay, yes, now I am, in a behind-the-scenes sorta way, but I’ve been very off-and-on with my writing, and it’s very easy for me to detach due to my personality and various issues; very easy to pay less attention to the community even though I sort of run it, when I’m not actively producing my own serial. So even though I’m... I don’t have any episodes coming out currently, the podcast is re-acclimating me to the current scene—doing the recaps, focusing on the new serials coming out, and so on. Actually—well, this is kind of belated, but we should explain what our podcasts’ contents tend to be.

Michael: (laughs) Probably a good idea! We should've done that right from the start.

Kira: Yeah, my bad on that one. Okay, so first, after the intro, we recap installments of a bunch of different webserials—both ones whose writers submitted the recaps to us, which we always encourage, or serials we’ve made a point to find and recap on our own. Actually I think the latter’s been the case most of the time, isn’t it?

Michael: You mean having to search for new serials to recap? Yeah. I think that is true. I’d have to go back and look at our archives to see but my impression is that we’ve sought out serials specifically to find a wider selection, rather than just relying on the three or four people who submit materials each month.

Kira: Right, and this is probably to be expected since we've only just begun, really. In addition, we try not to recap the same series two EpiCasts in a row. We don’t want the listeners to be bored instead of getting introduced to a variety of serials. I mean, some people (very generously) send recaps each month but since time is limited—

Michael: We try to keep recaps to under twenty minutes or so, not always successfully.

Kira: Definitely not always successfully! So for that reason, we’ll usually give precedence to webseries or webserials—you know, we do both text and video series, by the way—that haven’t been in the spotlight yet. But if there’s room we’ll definitely try to include anyone who’s submitted material.

Michael: Yeah they should get rewarded for participating. Oh, we also should mention that even when we go looking for series to recap, we try mostly to find series whose writers have participated in the EpiGuide in some way. I mean, not just the series that get the most exposure...

Kira: By which, you're talking about the series that have their message boards hosted with us, those are probably the most prominent at the Eppy.

Michael: Right, right. But though we do include those—

Kira: Actually as of this latest podcast (#005), we’ll have officially recapped all the series with EpiGuide-hosted forums.

Michael: No kidding, really? That’s a fun piece of trivia.

Kira: I should say, just the active series, obviously. The series on extended hiatuses are S.O.L., heh.

Michael: (laughs) So getting back to how we find series to recap, though we do include the more prominently placed serials, we also pay attention to the EpiGuide’s Site News area and the Web Buzz forum.

Kira: True. We want to encourage any writers or producers listening in to participate at the EpiGuide in some way. A serial has a better chance of being recapped or mentioned if you’re at least somewhat visible in our home turf.

Michael: But it’s not a necessity.

Kira: No, absolutely not. I know I've done news about MZP-TV shows, for example, and there's also your recap of the webseries Husbands in the most recent episode. Which is definitely not promoting itself on the EpiGuide. Anyway, speaking of the different segments we do, it’d be interesting to see which ones are most or least popular. Probably the recaps aren’t hugely exciting, although maybe the fact that we add our commentaries to them adds some value.

Michael: I definitely think that keeps them from being just plain info that only appeals to the recapped series’ writers themselves. That’s why I like to keep them quick and add our commentary. We almost never read a submitted recap verbatim.

Kira: True, we’ll use those as guidelines, mostly, but—

Michael: —But we’ll always go back and read or watch the installments so we can come from a place of knowledge and add some relatively informed, um, commentary.

Kira: And also on the latest EpiCast that we just recorded, I did more of a review of one of the series along with recapping its recent storylines.

Michael: So getting back to our segments…

Kira: Okay, okay. Yet another reason Michael’s such a great co-host is that he sticks to the topic rather than letting me branch out into digressions too much.

Michael: In other words I never shut up and let you speak.

Kira: No, no, it’s a pleasure that you’re so energetic, and the words seem to come so easily for you. I feel like I’m constantly searching for things to say even when I know what I want to say. Anyway, back to the segments. In addition to “The Story So Far…” which is our recaps section, we usually have a news section focusing on new, returning or ending series announcements, interesting articles we’ve read, topics of interest we’ve come across, and so on.

Michael: And then we finish up with a discussion.

Kira: Right. So far we’ve found it very easy to yammer on about a specific topic, for example, awards, or our favorite/least favorite serial endings, or … what else am I forgetting?

Michael: We did a talk about platforms… you know, the HTML versus WordPress or blogging software discussion. What works for us as readers/audience members, and what works for us as writers, and so on.

Kira: Oh yeah, gosh I forgot about that already and that was just like an episode ago. Scary.

Michael: Speaking of what works for writers, getting back to what you were talking about earlier, the fact that you’re more invested in the writing world since doing these ‘casts… do you find that doing these ‘casts, having the responsibility of being involved, motivates you to work on your series?

Kira: Yes, definitely. Because sometimes I do think “Gee it’d be nice to be mentioned on one of these damn things!”

Michael: (laughs)

Kira: Even though we’d be sure to treat it like Footprints—not highlighted more than any other serial, just every few months. But it’d be great to at least have the opportunity, and the EpiCast definitely feels like a kind of golden prize. Which is either a big compliment to the EpiCasts or proof that I’m kind of pathetic. By the way, before you got involved with the EpiCast, did you, or do you, listen to any other podcasts?

Michael: I really don’t. I think it’s because I listen to music or audiobooks, so I haven’t discovered stuff and the podcast thing is sort of a new world for me.

Kira: There are just so freakin’ many!

Michael: Yeah, exactly, I think—similar to webseries in a way—there’s so many things to look at and so many are of… um… poor or sort of unpolished quality, that I get a little overwhelmed. I know I’ve listened to soap-related ones, but while they’re fine, I feel like I’ve spent time on something that wasn’t illuminating anything for me. So I don’t really have a ton of experience with podcasts, and I didn’t have much experience getting into this.

Kira: Of course I assume you listened to the episode of Webfiction World where I was on, right? Right?

Michael: Yes, I definitely did.

Kira: Now those podcasts are really well done.

Michael: They do a nice job of them. They’re structured, they’re clear…

Kira: That’s what I aspire to, whereas our own show kind of feels like an amateur hour compared to them. I think it helps that they have a separate producer. Doing everything from planning to recording to editing and adding music cues… that’s quite a major process. The Webfiction World podcast sounds impeccable compared to the EpiCast, I think. Though maybe there’s some, I don’t know, charm? –in how casual and, um, nonprofessional our ‘casts seem. At least that’s what I tell myself. Technically speaking, I know from when I was on the WeSeWriMo show, they had a lot of breaks, and I think they record things on different days. For example, in the middle of our episode—they always have a reading of someone’s serial—

Michael: Oh wow.

Kira: I know! But anyway in our episode there was a break where they’d insert the reading, which obviously wasn’t recorded at the same time as my interview. And by the way, that’s something I’d like to do, finding a good excerpt of a serial to read out loud. The segments we have now that we’ve mentioned—the recaps, news, then discussion—they’re great but we want to add more. Such as a reading.

Michael: Yes, or to spotlight a single serial in-depth.

Kira: Precisely, that’s one of the things we’d talked about for the future as we start to get more into the groove of things here. We’re still feeling our way around a bit.

Michael: Ideally it would be great to combine interviews and readings. To have someone on as a guest, and then have them do a reading from their work—or we would do it—and then use that as a sort of jumping-off point of discussion. So instead of just reading something without it having any context, or any connection to what we’re discussing, the reading would maybe be specifically chosen to fit in with what we want to talk about.

Kira: I’d love that. The context thing is especially important because I think readings by themselves might not offer enough of a... a sense of what the serial’s about, or what the author is thinking, and so on. Your idea would let listeners really get a good feel for the series itself. Also, just having a third voice to listen to would probably be a relief after hearing both of us chatting in their ear for an hour!

Michael: Yup. So eventually we want to mix things up so each show’s not too predictable, with the same segments over and over. Fortunately we haven’t run out of topics, but we should put in a plug to ask people what they’d like to hear us talk about?

Kira: Great idea. If anyone reading this has an idea for a topic, let us know! Same thing with questions. Actually that’s another segment we’ve added, listener questions. For example, one of our listeners asked us about awards, and so that’s how we came up with discussing that particular topic.

Michael: Also on another episode we were asked about our most-missed serials, which led into that discussion about serials from years ago.

Kira: Holy crap, I forgot about that one too. Old age is a terrible thing. So yes, we get a lot of ideas from our listeners. I’d definitely like more precipitation—

Michael: Precipitation?

Kira: (laughs) Participation. I mean yeah, it’d be great to have some rain in here, maybe some snow… No but seriously, another one of our ideas is to have an entire a call-in episode. Though we’d need to learn how to handle that, technically speaking.

Michael: There’d be a learning curve for sure. Speaking of which, what do you think we’ve learned along the way? What’s the difference from the first EpiCast to the fifth one?

Kira: Well first of all we’ve gotten smoother as a team, I’m almost certain of that. I think we’ve found a good rhythm.

Michael: Yes. We’ve meshed with each other and feel way more comfortable than in that first episode.

Kira: Totally. I mean, it’s weird because we’ve known each other for like..

Michael: Fifteen years!

Kira: Oh my God. And yet we’d only spoken once or twice before, when…

Michael: …when we briefly worked for a lunatic. Long story.

Kira: Ha! So in addition to the improved interactions between us, and probably getting through segments more quickly, another thing we’ve learned is how to add some constructive criticism. Not that we’ve done a huge amount, other than little bits of snark that we add to the recaps of the more ridiculous plots—now I’m saying that with affection, everyone—in many of the serials. That said, advice and critiques aren’t a huge part of the podcast but we’re trying to integrate them a little more, from the vantage point of readers or audience members as well as writers. I mean, as we said, between the two of us we have thirty years of experience—

Michael: Oh God, that is literally longer than I’ve been alive!

Kira: Oy. I wish I could say the same thing. So we will get more into critiques and tutorials and advice, that sort of stuff. As long as we don’t sound like we’re sitting on some mountaintop making proclamations from on high…

Michael: I think the best way to come at that, particularly about critiques, is exactly what you said—that we’re speaking about this from the perspective of a reader or audience member. This’d be a respectful way of offering feedback without sounding too superior. Just sort of, “you’re putting out something that has an impediment to my enjoying your serial, here’s a possible solution.”

Kira: That’s very very true. We want to avoid sounding snobby but we do have a lot of experience following online entertainment, so why not share our thoughts that might help someone, right?

Michael: Yeah, I think we’ll be getting into that soon.

Kira: Another thing I've learned, personally, is the technical side of putting these 'casts together. Using the various software programs, picking music that's podcast-safe (easy enough to do since I'm going exclusively with Jonathan Coulton, whose music is all Creative Commons), dealing with levels, updating the various feeds and so on. But ... okay, so what else have we learned?

Michael: We’ve learned how to end instead of going on and on.

Kira: (laughs) And speaking of which, let's wrap up. In summary, we hope everyone reading will listen in and give us a try. There's something for everyone whether you're a reader, viewer, writer or producer. Also since we want to be representative of the whole world of webfiction and webseries and so on, it’d be great to have a more interactive feel. People should feel free to submit stuff to us, either questions or topics or even your feedback about a recent installment of a serial you’re reading or watching.

Michael: The best part of that is, the more you guys submit, the less work we have to do.

Kira: Always our Machiavellian goal. Anyway, thanks very much to 1889 Labs for providing us the opportunity to spread the word about the EpiCast! Hope you’ll all check us out.

About the EpiCast

The EpiCast is broadcast each month and can be found by following our feed, visiting http://epiguide.podbean.com or http://epiguide.tumblr.com , subscribing to us on iTunes, or right on the EpiGuide.

Kira's About Schuyler Falls and Michael's Footprints are two of the longest-running serials on the web.

March 24, 2012 — 1,288 words

Get A Heavy Hammer

By M Jones

It is four o'clock in the afternoon, and the author sits before a laptop, coffee in hand, a sneaky drab of whiskey put into it for good measure. The day is bright and sunny, and the author toys with the idea of wandering outside, getting a good dose of vitamin D and perhaps a pint or two at her favourite watering hole--with laptop in tow, of course. The trouble is, certain... people... refuse to leave her alone, and their needy, grabby, whining is really getting on her last nerve. No matter how heavy the hammer she throws at them, they always come back, broken and bloodied and demanding she do something about something.

Whiners. The lot of them.

Take this one fellow wandering in now. He's got nothing to do with this particular article the author is trying to write, but he keeps peeking in at her from the periphery, anxious eyes watching every keystroke as she types.

"You have to finish my outline," he reminded her for the four thousandth time.

"Not now, I have an article to write."

"But you left me battered and bruised and half dead, and there's a whole flashback scene you have to get to. I really need you right now."

"I told you. I'll get to you when this is done."

"You said that before. Then you went and worked on a short story. You don't care about me anymore. You don't love me."

"Of course I do. I hit you with a hammer, didn't I? Now get out of my office space and get back in that file until I'm ready for you."

He reluctantly did as he was told, but not without muttering a few choice words about how cruel and unreasonable she was being. Really, she was going to have to up his masculinity the next time she went over his outline and definitely before he fleshed out a few scenes. There was no way she was going to put up with a wimpy hero. Miserable and conflicted, yes, but never, ever a wimp!

Which brought her to her next problem. She sighed and hit the buzzer on her desk. "Outstanding Neglected Novel, can you come in here for a moment, please?"

There was some shy shuffling at her office door, and it opened with a tiny creak. Her Neglected Novel slid in and tiptoed across the carpet, to sit in the leather chair across from her creator. "Yes? Have you decided to finish me?"

"No," the author said.

Neglected Novel was stricken. "But...You worked on me for *hours*! For *weeks*! You were so proud of the words that were put together, we were really going places, things were happening!"

"No." The author was firm, unbending. "You were meandering all over the place, and your characters were bland. I've tried every possible way to fix it, but there comes a time when you have to admit there's no hope. The basis of your existence just isn't working. The conflict was incomprehensible, and frankly, you were more than a little boring. There is no hope for a novel that is boring. Controversial, ugly, maddening, yes, these are things that can redeem even the worst writing. But to be boring is worse than a death knell. It's like you shouldn't have been born and yet here you are."

"You can spice things up," Neglected Novel insisted. "I can become an experimental piece. A surreal exploration of the human condition."

The author yawned. "I'm slipping into a coma just talking to you. Maybe I can use some of the research in my other project, but right now, I'm afraid your services are no longer required." She pressed a red button marked 'delete' on her desk and Neglected Novel dissipated into a pile of crumpled papers at the base of her desk. She continued to type at her laptop, heedless of the quiet clean up job of her Editor, who muttered a few curses under her breath over the mess being made.

The door to her office slammed open, and yet another fellow stormed in, his face clammy with sweaty exertion.

"I demand a sex scene!" he shouted.

The author paused, her fingers hovering above the keys of her laptop. "I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me." He was breathless as he pulled up a chair. "I want a filthy, dirty sex scene. One that lasts four chapters."

"That is not going to happen. You're getting a fade to black, then do whatever you want, I don't care."

"But..."

"Protracted sex scenes are tricky to write, and when they aren't part of an erotic novel, they get boring. In a novel where sex isn't the plot or the focus, it gets weirdly clinical and icky. Just take a cue from the Bad Sex In Fiction Award and tell me I'm wrong. Last I looked, you were in a horror novel with a zombie focus, not 'In The Cut', so if you do manage to get a sex scene, it will be one paragraph of oblique feeling at best."

"Make it two and I'll be happy."

"I'm not here to make you happy." She picked up her hammer and swung a warning at him. She hit him on the side of the head and he collapsed onto the carpet, moaning in pain. "Miserable characters are conflicted characters and they drive the plot forward." She gave him a fierce kick in the stomach. "Now leave me be and let me finish this article!"

The afternoon waned on, the beautiful outdoors a passing memory as day slipped into evening. The author sighed and got herself yet another cup of coffee, which gave her a jittery, uneasy mood that rode on the wave of caffeine. She had the strangest, insufferable sensation of someone reading over her shoulder, an unpleasant feeling that refused to abate. She shook the invisible reader off, and it slid down her arm, across her keyboard and finally to the chair in front of her desk. Her nemesis sat prim and proper in front of her, a sickeningly sweet, pride-filled smile beaming at her.

"The last person I need to see right now is you," the author said.

"Everyone knows that all stories and characters are just extensions of their original author" She giggled and coyly bit her bottom lip. "It's all about me."

"Hardly. Great characters are made out of anxiety, misery and torment, and none of those things are part of my own experience. I live a pretty dull, and happy, life. My opinions on the great, untapped sustainable resource of penguin droppings should have no bearing on my character's personalities, and there is no need to make them soapbox it. It is vital that I get out of the way of the characters' development and allow them to breathe on their own."

The author opened her desk drawer, beginning a frantic search through piles of papers, sticky notes, research links, spent coffee grounds and USB sticks. It had to be here somewhere.

"Looking for this?"

Her nemesis, also known as Herself, held a shining silver gun in her hand. Herself laughed at the folly of it, for it was impossible to completely eradicate the creator from the process. Killing the author. How absurd.

"You don't have bullets," the author said, halting Herself's fit of giggling. The author smiled, and this time Herself looked worried, her hands clutching the padded armrests of her leather chair.

"I may not have a loaded gun," the author said, gravely serious, her weapon of choice weighed affectionately in her hand. "But I can always get a heavy hammer...."

March 24, 2012 — 317 words

Chapter 9p5 – Shields Up

By Tim Sevenhuysen

Milly ran into the cockpit. "What's going on, Tic?"

"They found us somehow," snapped Tic.

"I thought we were hiding!"

"Do you have a perfect record in Hide and Go Seek? Because I don't. Shields up, Pelly!"

"Yes, dear," said Pelly. "We're being hailed."

"Land and surrender, Galactic Pelican," said a voice. Three sleek green jets dove through the clouds past them.

"Did you see the size of their missiles!?" said Milly.

Tic said, "They look bigger from up close, I'll bet! Pelly, give me the vacuum generators." A set of controls popped up and a targeting reticule blinked onto the viewscreen.

The jets zoomed over them again from behind and flared their afterburners. Tic swung the targeting reticule up and squeezed every trigger he could reach. The jets peeled off hard as the snow where they had been was sucked explosively into numerous tiny vacuums that collapsed in upon themselves.

The jets hailed them again: "Mr. Dunter only prefers you alive, Pelican. Missiles are locked on. Last chance to surrender."

"Urgh!" said Tic. "Pelly, spool up the Origami Engine!"

"What!?" shouted Milly. "We can't jump from inside a gravity well!"

"We won't be inside a gravity well," said Tic. He squeezed the triggers of the vacuum generators and held them down.

"Missiles are in the air," reported Pelly. "Origami Engine is spooling."

"Spool harder!" said Tic.

The ship lurched suddenly downwards with the impact of the missiles. Everything shook, but Pelly held together—barely.

"Shields down," said Pelly. "More missiles incoming. Ready to jump momentarily. Coordinates?"

"I don't care where you take us," said Tic. "Just go!" He released the triggers and a massive vacuum sprang up ahead of them. Pelly flew into the middle of it and engaged the Origami Engine just before it collapsed.

They vanished.

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