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Announcing The Scarlet Lemming! February 3,2010

My next project, The Scarlet Lemming, will be kicking off on February 15!

Topic Tag: Discourse February 1,2010

“Nutella,” said she, “I decree, is the greatest substance in the world.”

New Mystery Underway! February 1,2010

You may not know it, but a new Mystery is underway at 1889.ca!

Uhopping Chapter 5: Electric February 1,2010

This is part five of the Uhopping adventure that is spanning lots of webfic sites…

Topic Tag: Ohh, Yes! January 28,2010

“I’m serious,” wrote Anna, late in the evening, “you are.”

Topic Tag: The Glitch January 28,2010

The bank heist was not going as planned.

Liveblog: iTablet Press Event January 27,2010

PTTBT’s Erin Barkley brings you inside Apple’s iTablet press conference, LIVE!

Programming Note: Liveblogging Tomorrow January 26,2010

Tomorrow at 10AM PST, 1889.ca will bring you the Apple press event LIVE!

A Hell of a Morning January 26,2010

Daylight savings meant the hell-hounds wanted walking an hour early.

When Archimedes finds himself naked in the middle of town, he inadvertently breaks Winston’s First Rule of Artful Diplomacy...
When Owen’s second cousin Panda comes to visit, things go from bad to worse, to INSANE!
A fable about patent reform, for children and CEOs.
It's the age of the home-made virus, and humanity is dying. It just doesn't know it yet.
Archimedes and Lord Likely fight to the death in London!
A compilation of short stories from MCM's 2009. Full of silly.
Cocaine is for pansies.
Xander and the wind did not get along. He knew he had to learn to get along with the wind... but how?
Be part of the problem.
Pinch to kill.
It's the age of the home-made virus, and humanity is dying. It just doesn't know it yet.
When danger strikes the Maritime Museum, TorrentBoy and his crazy teddy bear Crash must save the day!
Percy is a gargoyle, but not a very good one.
Gare Marx has been a PI for all of five minutes when he discovers he sucks at it.
TorrentBoy battles to stop the evil Lord Thorax's plan to turn the entire world into zombies!
Even criminals have their own forbidden fruit.
Archimedes and Finley find themselves at the Titan Inn, where a murderer is on the rampage!
The classic tale about the dangers of digital rights management.
It was increasingly obvious that Thomas Edison’s tongue was not nearly as agile as he had suggested by mail, so Archimedes fed the sheep their biscuits and politely excused himself from the study.
Maggie is a 3-year-old with a very big idea: she wants to play the cello.
Photo by Breibeest under a Creative Commons license

Topic Tag #Desertbus #1

Tonight’s Topic Tag comes from @tenaciousN, and relates to Desert Bus For Hope

The man with the socks on his hands was a terrible assassin.  It went beyond the lack of fine motor skills, too.  As he sat on the bus with his hands wrapped in burgundy, the man looked embarrassed, and good assassins never look anything but deadly.

“May I?” asked a young woman in a frayed skirt, pointing to the set next to him.  Behind her, a thick-set punk with a large artificial tree tried to navigate the aisle, knocking fellow passengers to and fro as he fought for his footing.

The man stared at the woman, his sunken eyes cold like the rain outside.  Or at least that’s how he imagined them.  To him, cruelty was a cruel mistress.

“You may,” he said, moving his bag off the seat, but he dropped it, and something metal hit the ground.  The woman ducked down, scooped it up for him, and paused, a frown on her face.

“Is this…?”

“A branding iron,” he said as darkly as he could, and snatched it back.  “Thank you.”

“Why do you need a branding iron?” she asked, sitting next to him, rustling in her purse.

“I am branding things,” he said.

“What kinds of things?” she asked, oblivious to his vicious misdemeanour.

“Evil things.  Dead things.  Human things,” he said.  “I must silence and brand someone this evening, in order to maintain my position at the pinnacle of the assassin’s guild.”

That wasn’t strictly true, but he was too heartless to care.

“Cool,” said the woman, and pulled out a little pudding cup, opened it up and started eating.  It smelled strongly of bananas.  Bananas reminded the man of his mother, of the blood in the puddles as the thieves—

“I’m in school,” the woman said happily.  “Criminal psychology.  It’s heavy stuff.  Gonna be a profiler one day.”

The man just stared at her.  She had banana pudding on her nose.  She was exactly the kind of person he would want to have assassinated, if he were the one calling the shots.  But tonight, with his mission…

“What do you do?” she asked.

He looked away as he spoke.

“I am a cleaner,” he said.

“Is that why you have socks on your hands?”

“No,” he said.

“Dry skin?”

“No,” he said.

“Lobster hands?” she smiled.

He stared at her, tears welling in his eyes.

Her smile disappeared.

“I clean the world of impurities,” he said.  “Of recklessness and naïveté.  Of lust and infidelity.  Of—”

“Douglas Street!” called the driver.

“This is my stop,” said the man, getting up and pushing past the woman’s knees, clutching his bag close to his chest.  He waited by the doors, right behind her, and felt the handle of the knife he kept in his jacket, the rough blade calling out for blood, the woman’s spine so exposed, so pure and clean and desperate to be stabbed… All he needed was one kill… one kill to become certified.  One kill to claim his place at the top of the assassin’s guild…

The bus pulled up to the stop and he made his move.  In a quick motion, he gripped the knife in his socked hand, pulled back and—

—fell onto the sidewalk with a mouthful of pine needles.  Plastic ones, too.  The knife plugged itself neatly into his chest, and he stared at it in disbelief, like he had not given it permission to be there, and it was due for a solid scolding.

“Dude!” gasped the man with the tree.  “Oh my god, are you hurt?”

But before he could answer, the doors closed again, and the bus drove away, kicking filthy water at his face as it went.

The man with the socks on his hands sat there at the bus stop, knowing he’d failed… failed to assassinate anyone… anyone but himself.

And that wasn’t strictly true, either.  The guy with the tree’d done it.

“Shit,” he grumbled, and died.

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